Boys Don't Cry
June 11, 2009
I'm not feeling well. Para akong lalagnatin anytime. Though I don't think it's A(H1N1). Hindi naman ako nakikiuso.
I feel weak from what happened. Halos buong araw ako nagprepare kahapon for my interview this day. I prepared a 20-page portfolio to their request. I even called their office to confirm today's event. But I ended up slapped in the face with my own stupidity.
I thought I was prepared. I thought--.
I arrived early in Magallanes station. One hour before 11 AM. I knew the street I was going to--Chino Roces Extension. Last night there was a news on TV that a robbery happened in the street next to it-Amorsolo. From Magallanes MRT-3 station, I decided to walk so I could find the place myself.
SHIT. I forgot the building number.
I stayed a little at MiniStop to text some friends for help. It was on the web site. I remember the landmarks na sinabi nung lady kahapon. MiniStop, Toyota, but where could that company be? It was already 10:30 when I left MiniStop. It's just around. I thought.
It was ten minutes to eleven when I arrived at the end of the street. I'm soaked, my feet hurt, and I'm getting depressed. I stopped for a while to beg for help. Katext ko si Bes. I asked her if she could call the company to ask for directions kasi naubusan ako ng call creds. Wala pang loading station sa malapit. I crossed the street and started going back retracing my steps on the left lane.
I didn't felt presentable at all. All I wanted was just to find that company and whatsoeverelse.
I returned to MiniStop and asked some people if they knew the hell I'm talking about. Unfortunately, I guess the company was a myth for them. Ayaw tumawag ni bes, nahihiya daw siya. It was eleven. Could someone help me? I want that job. But I guess I spoiled it, BIG TIME.
Eleven fifteen I left MiniStop and started walking back to Magallanes station. I almost cried for self-pity. Almost. But I guess it's not yet time.
I've thought of everyone.
And hopes I killed, especially those I didn't want to lose--- just to learn how NOT TO CRY.
In God's time, perhaps.
